Wow it has been a VERY long time!!!
I am realizing it has been almost three months since I posted. Wow where did the time go???? I think what happened was that I pushed the “resume” button on my life and well… you get the picture.
I wanted to give a quick update, well if you have followed my writing it may not be too quick. This past week I officially finished my fills!! I got my last fill and am feeling pretty good. I believe I am expanding to an official size “C” cup, however I no longer own a bra so I couldn’t tell you for sure! One of the perks if I have to say there are any perks to a double mastectomy and reconstruction is that you no longer need a bra!
I went back to work in August, as a director and a teacher once again. Let me tell you it felt good to get my classroom ready and to be in a classroom every day. I am also on full time mom duty again, volunteering in their classes and making lunches every day.
I also went back to school in August as well, so I am a college student once again. I have to say this has been the hardest for me. Before cancer I set a goal to become a psychologist but after cancer I lost my drive to be in school completely. But I am still going… maybe one day I will find my drive for school again, but if not I have taken the pressure off of getting straight A’s. I no longer have a desire to spend 20 hours on school work each week when I can spend that time with my family. So I am in school, passing each course…. and taking the pressure off feels great.
In September the family and I went to Disneyland the happiest place on earth. We had a fantastic time and a much needed family vacation.
I have also noticed my house is no longer perfect all of the time. A new subtle change cancer has brought me. I realized before cancer I was always cleaning the house… we have a pretty big house so if you didn’t clean a little each day… well it became bad all of the time. While laying in bed after surgery I realized I was hearing my kids tell me “Mom you are always cleaning” So I made myself a promise that my life didn’t have to be perfect anymore. So I am proud to say that my house is no longer perfect… I lay on the couch more snuggled with a book with my kids, or playing games at night with my oldest.
I have always instilled date nights with my boys. Once a month they each get a night with me, we go for a special treat and spend some fun time together. This has been a wonderful time, and I look forward to this time until they leave my house when they are adults!!!
Some big news is that Smart Start my school is finished on the outside. It has been so exciting to see my drawing come to life! We are enrolling already for next year, my staff is hired and I am beginning to dream again looking already to next year!
It has been 3 months since my trip to Carmel and I have to say that was a life changing trip. I really did it… I really left my “shit’ behind…. and I feel like a new women. I live for today and am looking ahead daily no more looking behind my shoulders.
Well I think that is it for now… I am still here but I have officially pressed “resume” I am a wife, mother of four kids, director, teacher, student, volunteer and friend so my life is full!!!
I am so grateful for each day, each day is a gift and I don’t take this lightly. I am grateful for my family and my friends.