Thoughts While Sprawled Out On An Empty Football Field
Maybe it is finishing my first manuscript, maybe it is downsizing my business or maybe it is simply know my true diagnosis almost five years ago that the pathologist missed. But for some reason I am beginning to see past 40. I want to get into the best shape of my life. So here I am blogging about this. I think I am going public with this deep secret of mine is because if I say it aloud for all to hear, then maybe I will feel obligated to stick with it. I remember when I was fourteen; I was at a church all night party for New Year’s Eve. There was a video camera, (you remember the large dinosaur of a camera that rest’s on ones shoulder) the guy with the camera was coming around asking everyone what there New Year’s resolution was, and I was the next person in line. I replied, “I want to stop biting my nails” I was shocked I admitted it in front of the cameraman, then I was shocked that now it was on video forever out there for all to know. But guess what? I stopped biting my nails, I wasn’t a failure, or I wasn’t going to fail for others to see. So maybe this is a little bit of me at fourteen. I am admitting that yes I am thin, but really I am very unfit. This is what I thought about as I lay on the football field behind my house earlier today all alone listening to black eyed peas. I had just worked out for forty minutes and then just stared up at the sky and thought about the New Year ahead. Rather than waiting for the magical day of January 1st I thought I would get a jump on it now. As I lay there on the field I also thought maybe, just maybe if I go public then there is no turning back for me, because well I don’t want to fail. I am the person trying to break a bad habit, my bad habit is to start and stop my exercise. I must choose to break the bad habit myself; there must be no nagging from anyone but me. Only can we choose to break a habit. There are many goals I will be setting for myself this coming new year, but today I am ready to take my old person body back and maybe, just maybe turn the clock of time and fix the damage that’s been done. Because forty is almost here and really I want forty more years here experiencing the amazingly wonderful journey of life. So what habit are you breaking this new year?