Let the waiting continue….

Let the waiting continue….

Let the waiting continue….

I guess it is time for an update. Today as I cruised Facebook I saw a sad very hard post to read. Gail a women who I have never met in person. A women who I only emailed through FB and shared one thing in common passed away this week. She was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months before me. A mutual friend put us in touch. She gave me advise before my big surgery and she encouraged me  during my journey through BC. Today my heart is so sad, I knew the cancer had come back. I knew it had spread to her brain. I knew she was getting sicker. Today though it hit hard… cancer killed her. She was a mother and wife, daughter and friend. Left behind are people who are heart broken.

Today I cried… I cried for Gail who lost her life way to short because of this fucking disease. I also think is that there is a huge possibility that may be my future, is my future for cancer to kill me too? As of now I am alive and kicking. But I also know what cancer can do… how silently and quietly it can kill someone. Today I am reminded yet again how precious our life is. How in this moment when I have strength and energy I need to enjoy every minute of my life.

Tomorrow is Mother’s day and I am so in love with my family. I am so appreciative of my husband who loves me unconditionally. For my kids who check in all the time to see how I am feeling and who tells me they love me so much. I am thankful for kind energetic and go getter kids. I am thankful for kids who already dream big and who have big plans. I am thankful for a husband who has learned to have patience and who gets better and better being a dad each and every year. I am thankful to be alive and today I am thankful for simple inhalers that have been helping me breathe again and not coughing every two minutes. I am thankful for getting some of my energy back.

I feel like I am still in limbo with my health…. I am waiting on more testing to see if the spot in my Pelvis/Uterus/Ovary… they are not sure the exact location, is nothing or something. I continue to wait… but today even as my heart breaks for Gail… I relish in my own joy of still being alive and healthy today.

Rest in peace Gail…thank you for encouraging me…

Comment ( 1 )

  • I know the feeling of waiting for test results…it’s agonizing. My prayer for you is that the spot is NOTHING! You aren’t alone in your grief for our kindred spirit friends who have fought the good fight, but lost the battle.
    Hang in there!

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